Conversation is a major part of our human intercourse. Proper conversation can improve our status, respect and relationship with others. It can also give us ease in business talk, negotiation and temper control.
Below are a list of "What you can't say", the causes and consequences:
"I am better than you", "I am the best", and "I am invincible". This person is extremely self-center and conceited. You may be telling the truth about certain distinct and outstanding abilities, and be fooled sometimes by some intentional hypocritically flattering and acclaiming sometimes. But enhancing you and disparaging others can hardly earn any true respect or acknowledgement from others.
"You are all wrong, and I am always right, you should heed what I tell you to do". How often will you hear this type of criticism? Do you feel hurt? Will you do what he or she tells? Of course not, no one can take prejudiced accusation like this, by denying completely what he or she has done. Do you always hear the staff complaining there boss for picking on their small mistakes, and not remembering what they have done, achieved or sacrificed for the company? We all need certain degree of acknowledgement and encouragement, they are the motive power to strengthen our confidence and acceptance in taking blames and criticism, and rectify ourselves.
"Do you remember what I have done for you? Do you remember how much I have sacrificed for you?" "You should appreciate me for what I have done for you". Your intention for saying this is to remind someone what you have done or sacrificed for them and hoping for some appreciation, acknowledgement or compensation in return. But have they done or sacrificed anything for you? Have you showed enough appreciation and acknowledgement for what they have done? Which side have done or sacrificed more? Do you like to be reminded all the time for what they have sacrificed? Are they saying the same for counterattack? A modest person and a person who likes to take credit and seek rewards for what they have achieved, which one do you like the most? These lopsided reminders will only add fuel to the fire, and are harmful to your relationship.
"This is not my fault, I didn't do it, someone else did". Maybe you really didn't do it, someone may be just misjudges you, but if everyone always misjudge you for something and this answer has become your pet phrase, you are most likely shirking your responsibility and shifting the blame onto others. You are signaling everyone you can not be trust, you are a coward with no courage to take responsibility and blame, you are ruining your own reputation and future. Have the shoe on the other foot; you will feel exactly the same.
"This is your responsibility to take care of the kids, you have more spare time than me". You are shirking your responsibility with laziness, disobedience and immaturity. A lot of people can not hold their end up and are confronting others with share responsibility, they want to use their spare time to do something else they like, instead of taking responsibility to do the task. A few minutes of disobedience may lead to a few days of quarreling; your lost may be much bigger than your gain.
"Big deal, I don't think you are great, I don't think you are better than anyone else". Your narrowed mind and sense of inferiority are blocking you from admitting and learning others merits or superiority, you want to protect yourself with your narrow thinking, and you are limiting your future achievement and accumulation of different knowledge and in different fields. You will live in your small world for the rest of your life, and feel bitter and jealous by seeing others improving, archiving and climbing high.
"Be smart, you idiot", "Be quick, you are wasting my time", "Don't interrupt when I am talking", you are humiliating or accusing someone with your impatience or anger, you are teaching them to say something similar in return when you are making the same mistakes. Sometimes, we are not aware of what we are saying or doing, especially when we are not concentrating or are tired. Be forgiving and understanding, show your patience instead of your impatience, show your care instead of your anger.
"Watch where you are going, you jerk", "Get moving, you son of a bitch". A war can start with disrespect; an argument can start with rudeness, a fight can start with poor attitude. If trouble is part of your daily life, quarreling is part of your daily conversation, beating is part of your daily exercise, and regret is part of your daily thinking, then you should start rectifying your manner and words. If you can make people hate you from what you say or what you do, can you make people love you by doing the opposite?
Manner of speaking is also an important link in human intercourse; poor temper or lack of patience sometimes may cause poor manner or yelling. Talking with loud and rapid tones with anger and anxiety may be contagious sometimes, and you will soon hear the same tone in return. Therefore, if you hear an unfriendly tone, check your own manner and tone first before blaming others.
If a guy has impotence, premature ejaculation or micro-soft, do not say anything like, "You are not a man", "You are aging", "You are terrible in bed", or "You can't give me a good time". These will create mental blockage and shadow to further degenerate the body function and reaction. Impotence sometimes is caused by stress, if you can give him proper support and encouragement to relax, the body function may soon resume to full power.
One word to hell, and one word to heaven, maybe you don't aware how much these words are hurting other people and you, when they say something similar in return to revenge. Our behavior and manner are infectious, our rudeness can drive people rude, our anger can drive people too angry, and our madness can drive people mad, we can make us suffer from what we have done.