Why do we get married?
Simply because we trust each other, we trust that he or she is the one to marry
and live with for life. We trust the other half to be honest and loyal, will
do their duties as husband or wife. Therefore, in some degree, marriage and
happiness are built on reciprocal trust.
But how do we deal with trust? Do we always question the loyalty of our love
one when they look at other males or females? Do we always suspect the other
half is lying to us? Do we sometimes pretend to be sick to see if they still
care about us? Do we check their wallets, search their pockets, and open their
mailboxes to search for suspicious letters or other items? Do we always question
who they have seen or met?
I guess everyone will have dozens of reasons to be suspicious, to make sure
the other half is still honest, caring and loyal. But do you like to be suspected
when you haven't done anything dishonest? Do you hate to lose your freedom to
look at other people? Do you like someone playing little games on you just to
check your love and care of them? Do you like someone to read your letters or
check your wallets without your permission? If you haven't done anything wrong,
and are always been questioned about your loyalty and honesty, what will you
think about your love one, do you feel trapped, upset and frustrated, and find
this type of behavior very annoying and discouraging? Will conflict and hate
increase due to this disrespect and mistrust? Will you lose your patience, temper
and control, and start doing something stupid and rebellious to fight back?
Will you get so annoyed, and start staying out late to look for relief from
someone else?
If we don't do this carefully, we will be pushing the good guys to look for
a better replacement, or giving the bad guys an excuse to fool around a lot
faster. I guess everyone would love to have a happy marriage, when they are
assenting in front of a priest or a chief witness to take care of each other
for the rest of their life. Even the most unconventional and unrestrained person,
still hopes his or her love and care can restrain their hearts, to resist the
temptation from the outside. Every move we make will be determining our happiness
or sadness of our future, one false move may lead us to hell, and one right
move may bring us back to heaven.
Trust and love are supplementing to each other and can not be separated. Trust
shouldn't be tested or questioned frequently, to prove that the love and loyalty
are still the same. Losing the trust means losing the love, giving trust, support
and encouragement is a lot better than suspecting, deriding and discouraging.
If you want an everlasting marriage, and then you should learn to give trust
and support to your love one, give them freedom to look at and talk to other
people. We are not monkeys, we don't need to be locked in a cell and be supervised
all the time. We need freedom and a supportive lover to give us confidence to
carry out a normal social life. We want to show our love one that we have capacity,
a broad mind and understanding, and are not afraid of competition. If there
are two girls, one is jealous and narrow minded, and the other is capacious
and broad minded, which one would you prefer?