There is nothing wrong to have temper, there is nothing wrong in been jealous, everyone is selfish, and we are all self-center. But if he or she meets someone slightly better than you, when he or she is still doing something enchanting that you have stop doing, then an affair may begin.
You can't stop anyone from comparing, this is part of our human nature, and we are always comparing who is better and who is not, regretting for what we have, searching for someone better, and hoping for the coming of another compliment.
Gentleness and softness are the biggest weapons for women to tame men, and also for men to tame women. These are gifts of nature, but however we are limiting their use during the dating period before marriage only. Once we stop using them after marriage intentionally or unintentionally, the big differences between gentleness and frigidity, softness and hardness will soon mess up both of your thinking and life.
If you want to defeat your enemy, you have to act better than him or her. Show your patience, gentleness, softness, good temper, forgiveness, tolerance, understanding and sense of humor. Let their relationship going; hide all your jealousy and anger and show your caring of his or her health only. Prepare some of his or her favorite foods, and leave them on the dinning table every night, keep these going every night no matter he or she eats it or not, make him or her feel more and more guilty. Do as good as you can, let him or her feel you are a lot better than before, and start spending more and more time with you. Once he or she spends more time with you, your enemy will start showing his or her true personality, selfishness and self-center. Gradually, they will self-destruct with jealousy, anger, and yelling and pounding, doing what you have been doing to scare your husband or wife off. Tell your husband or wife to spend more time with them and not to worry about you, use the methods in the example of "How come you are losing your mate to another man or woman".
In a lot of the countries, men have a much higher percentage than women to have affairs due to the bad influence of the ancient culture of polygamy and their worsening relationship with their wives. Therefore, women need to switch their identities and point of views from the wife to the mistress, forgetting whom you are, what he had promised, and what you don't allow him to do. You have to do something better than the mistress, in order to win the war.
You may think these are more than you can afford, and divorce is a lot simpler and faster to solve the problems and the pain. But I can tell you, you are wrong, doing all this hard work is a lot easier than divorce. You may experience some short-term relief after divorce, but the painful memory will keep on stabbing your heart and torturing your spirit for the rest of your life. Once you get your fingers burned, the shadow and the wound may further be affecting your affection and senses to other male; you may be flinching from difficulties, and reserve your love to prevent further injury. If you don't learn to rectify your behavior and mistakes, you will most likely fail in the future again and again.
Sometimes we think rules are important to maintain a marriage, but a lot of time our marriages are damaged by these strict rules. One reason men like mistresses, is because they are not stipulated under any rule or restriction. At least, the mistress will not stop him from seeing his wife or going back to his own home. He can stay out late any time or even not showing for a few days. The mistress will have better tolerance and less restriction, most importantly; giving him the freedom most married men are lacking and thirst for.
What we are all doing right now after marriage, are applying a lot of strict rules to both sides for forbidding them in making any small to fatal mistakes or wounds, but we are crossing bridges before coming to them. Rules and restrictions are equivalent to pressure, the stricter the rules and restrictions, the higher the pressure will build, the more you two will argue, the faster you want to get out, the sooner you will have an affair, and the earlier you two will say good-bye.
We are living in a contradicting world, we like to apply rules and restrictions to control others, but we don't like others to apply any rule or restriction on us, both thinking are an act of selfishness. We want everything in favor of us, but we don't want to live under any condition. We want to get married, but we don't want to go by the rules. We want to put on a lock, but still want to be as free as a bird. How can we strike a happy medium?
If you don't allow your husband to look at or talk to other women, do you think he will be happily following your order? Do you think he will love you more and more because of this? If this kind of rules will bring out his rebellious nature, end up with a blunder and drive him away, now is time to make some changes. Give him back the freedom, show him your tolerance, let him look at or talk to other women, make him feel you are distinct and different from other women, show him you are one of a kind, and no match for other jealous women.
I have showed these methods to a few lonely wives, telling them which side their bread is buttered on, they were shocked at the beginning, but soon see the differences after applying it to their husbands. Only one wife failed for not controlling her temper and jealousy after a few months of attempt. The rest of them using full tolerance, understanding, and meticulously caring, have successfully won back their husbands, after the mistresses self-destructed with jealousy, anger, yelling and pounding. One of the husbands even cried on his wife's shoulder confessing his sin and affair. Now, they are no longer calling themselves wives, they rather call themselves mistresses, they rather be a successful mistress, than a failing wife.
But I warn all the ladies; they need to keep these going and keep their temper down, if they don't want to spoil their previous effort. Further more don't apply any stupid rules on their husbands, let them play the field and do whatever he likes. Make a deal with your husbands, if he goes to bed with other women, you will do the same in return, giving him a dose of his own medicine, just to be fair. Then, his jealousy will automatically supervise his conduct and be your good husband from now on. Remember that, his decision for fooling around will not be determined by whether you like or dislike, you approve or disapprove.
Give him freedom to look at other women, unless you like him to pretend not looking and lying to you for not interested. This is totally normal for a normal person to look at beautiful things, you should learn to praise with him if you see some attractive ladies, be generous and tolerate, he will be proud of your new attitude. You can give him a dose of his own medicine, if you see an attractive man, show him the difference between generosity and tolerance, jealousy and selfishness.