What do the courting men use to pursue women? Flowers, phone calls, sending gifts, on call at any hour, fulfil her wishes, cover up all your demerits, be romantic, be gentle, be nice, etc, etc.
If the girl is beautiful and charming, with a lot of pursuers, then you will have to put in extra effort, time, or spending to touch and capture her heart.
After you have moved heaven and earth to defeat all other pursuers and committed dozen of promises to marry her, your enthusiasm and fighting spirit will cool down gradually after the hard battle, and gradually stop doing all those enforcing and unwilling hard work and promises. The girl will soon sense you dancing to another tune, and start thinking your heart has changed, and will stop cherishing her after marriage, then arguments will increase, and your relationship will get worse and worse from time to time.
Who should you blame for this, the men or the methods? Men have been teaching and passing these methods to other men for generations. These methods have been widely used and popularized among pursuers from different parts of the world and different age groups. Since every man is using these golden rules, and if you don't use them, you are no match to other competitors and will most likely lose your battle in pursuing. So all men are forced to do something different from their true personality and habits when pursuing. To act something they don't like, to hide all their demerits in front of their targets, to be wolf in sheep's clothing, and to deceive the passion and love of those devoted poor girls.
But all the girls seem to enjoy all these tactics, they like to show off or making comparison with other girls, comparing who has better boyfriend, whose boy friend has sacrificed more, who has received more expensive gifts, and who is happier and luckier. So the love game becomes a battlefield, the more you use the courts and tactics, the better chances you will defeat other competitors to win a girl's heart and walk into chapel. Otherwise, you will lose everything, you may have to settle down with someone less attractive or be a bachelor for the rest of your life.
After marriage, the men will usually go back to their own self, to let you see all the merits and demerits of there true personalities. All the hard work, including the flowers, phone calls, and romance will be done less and less. Instead, you will start hearing excuses, like too busy, during meeting, too much work, too tired, we are already married, etc., to run away from the courting, responsibility and promises.
A lot of promises are just out of reach. Like "To love her for the rest of your life", "Let her in command", "Let her control all the income and investment", "To fulfil all her dreams", etc. All of these are one-sided promises and are just too hard for anyone to give and fulfill for life; these are way out of the range of human nature in acceptance and patience. Your marriage is just sitting on a power keg, with the impatience, annoy, anger and hate accumulate, one day the fire will eventually light up the accumulated power keg, and blow your marriage off completely.
I really wouldn't blame the men or the women for making all these mistakes. These kinds of stereotypes have been widely accepted and used for centuries, we are just not aware there are so many demerits and side effects after marriage. Therefore, the more beautiful a girl looks, the more pursuers she has, the more radical courting that is used to please her, the more danger she will face in her future marriage. Especially when she is still used to all those flattery, admiration, and sacrificial love, and still believe there are plenty of other fish in the sea, and millions of admirers waiting outside to please and cherish her. Then learning and accepting the real husband and his demerits seems to be unnecessary and time consuming.
When things are getting rough and both sides desert a sinking ship, divorce seems to be the only and most effective method to solve the problems. Then you will start looking for new love, looking for another good man to court, sweet and romantic, and have the whole procedure repeated again. Very soon you will be down in the dumps, deserting another sinking ship, and start looking for another love…
There are so many famous examples; I am not going to name them. I still remember someone had said, "He is definitely my last one, he is the best", but too bad, nightmare still came, and divorce was inevitable.
If someone is comparing the courting between boy friends or husbands with you, now you know the winner one-day may become the loser. If someone tells you how good her husband is after marriage, there are two possibilities: First, she may be lying. Second, you should wish them good luck, hope her husband is superman or a lamp genie, can keep on doing whatever she tells and fulfil all her wishes for the rest of his life.