How are we going to stop these? If you two are still single, ask him to be himself and show his true personality, and see if the real one is suitable. If you two are married, then forget about all those romantic and pleasing moment, and start facing the reality. Let him be himself, start learning his true personality, and try to overcome the difficulties together.
Receiving flowers is very romantic, but sending flowers is very costly. In court, some guys will send enormous amount of flowers to touch those unlucky girls, they are not only wasting large amount of money, but most dreadfully, you two are sitting on a power keg. This is not something we can do for life, when the men are tired; it will be time for the power keg to explode.
After marriage, both of you should have a better plan in money spending, your common goal is to build a healthy and stable family together. All those unnecessary spending for flowers, long distance calls, decorative items, jewels, fancy clothing or dinning in an expensive and fancy restaurant, should be carefully calculate to keep within your budget. Those highs spending of courting should be cut to the minimum, to save the money for future mutual family consumption, like housing, automobiles, electricity, children raising, education, etc.
Sending or receiving gifts should be switching from flamboyant to practical, from romantic to mature. Sending or receiving electric appliances, kitchen wears or working tools, to help improving the living standard and working efficiency, are far more practical than flowers or other functionless decorative items, especially when the family income is limited. We usually have a few occasions to receive gifts every year; therefore, receiving one or two pieces of practical items each year shouldn't be a big problem at all. After all, they are still useful items to help and speed up your household work, so you should still consider this as one way of caring.
Picking the correct gift sometimes is not an easy task, we will get blame for sending something improper or being too practical, and then it will sit with the original packaging in a secret dark corner of the store room until the next thorough cleanup, just like casting pearls before swine. Both acts may reduce our enthusiasm in the future to spend time or money to choose for the right gift.
Romance sometimes is very costly, just like pouring money down the drain, and it can not run our lifes. Use money on the right spots and make every dollar worth, a healthy and progressive family is mutual works and responsibilities, you both should be guiding each other to proper spending and better life.
Men calling at any hour. If the man is doing this very often, you should start worrying about his job and his future, with so much ease to leave his job, with so much time to spend around with you, do you think he is a hard working guy? Do you think he can make a lot of money in the future? What will his boss, colleagues or employees think about him and you? Who is going to do his work during his absence? Would you like to be the girl to cost his job, big projects, customers, money or future? Would you like to be the girl to get blame from everywhere?
It is pretty sweet to receive phone calls and care from your love one a few times every day. After marriage, the enthusiasm and patient of calling will be getting less and less, the conversation will be getting shorter and shorter, and the contents will be getting simpler and simpler. This is a normal process after marriage, it is hard to maintain every conversation to be meaningful and caring, instead you will hear a lot more impatient and opposing opinions or argument, saying "no", "sorry" or "I'm busy".
The more you are bordered about his change after marriage, the more you two will argue and hate each other, and the sooner you two will get separated.
If you want to have a long lasting marriage, now is time for both of you to grow up. The men should at least keep on doing half of what he has been doing, to avoid hurting the other half with sudden and rapid changes. The women should start showing her maturity and unselfishness, to see eye to eye for placing herself in his position and looking at things from his point of view, showing your understanding and true caring, and making him feel cozy and warm.
Forget all those impractical, unrealistic and devastating promises or requirement, if you want your husband and marriage to be happy and stress free. Lower your standard, give them room to breathe and relax. They are not superman, or a lamp genie, they can not fulfil all your wishes and do whatever you tell, let them live like a normal human being, and do what their ability can do or afford.
Try to make the pursuit both sides instead of one side. The wife can try to do something similar in return, like sending her husband flowers or little gifts once in a while; calling him to work hard, stay relax and not worrying about her, and try to make the phone call short and non- disturbing. We all have a scale inside; one side pursuit will only make the scale falling to one side and collapse eventually. Only two sides pursuit can make the scale balanced, and get your broken or weaken relationship sewed up again.