(1) Whenever there is an argument, a man should be the one to yield. If we need to give advice to anyone with problems in their relationship, try to be moderate and not leaning to help one side only. Both sides need support and encouragement; not doing this properly will only worsen the whole situation. Try to find out the causes of every argument, try to even up their responsibilities and look for weaknesses of human nature from both sides. Do they both have bad tempers? Can either side control their temper when arguing? Are both sides jealous? Are both sides stubborn? Are both sides trying to win the argument each time? Is one side or both sides trying to control the other half? If you want one side to yield, then you also need to do certain apologies, otherwise, the pressure and hate will increase, and the relationship will be in jeopardy. Sometime not giving advise is better than giving advise, if you don't know the correct way to unscrew the screw, tell them to come to me for help.

(2) Men like to fool around after marriage. Please relax, give the husbands room to move and air to breathe, although each male have different types of personality and interest, if you give him correct love, trust and warmth, the possibilities of looking for replacement will be reduced to the minimum. If you really love him, please allow him to make one time mistake, and give him one more chance. If you two are going to stay together for decades, you two will be going through a lot of ups and downs, and facing all kinds of temptation from all over, one or two major mistakes from either or both of you are inevitable and forgivable. Understanding and forgiveness are necessary to maintain a long-term relationship, they will also make you the most attractive person in the world, and no one can afford to lose you, and willing to commit the same mistake again. Every incorrect move, pressure and argument will only force him to repent, and look for relief and replacement.

(3) Husband is the leader of the family. No matter this is male domination or female domination, you need to find out what are the best for each couple. Everyone has different requirement and standard of roles playing in a family, the main point is to find out the best distribution of works and roles, which will please both sides. If he or she is not good in handling money, and then you should take charge; if he or she is good in cooking, let him or her does that work, and you do the cleaning. You want to build a family tense free; and make everyone willingly to do his or her parts. Building up tension and an unbalanced emotion will also lead to headache, neurasthenia and even mental disorder, homicide or suicide. Make sure you are telling someone to do something in good manner with a soft, comfortable tone, if you want someone to do the same in return.

(4) Polygamy is only allowed in certain religions, when the men are in total control and are capable to handle different wives at the same time. If you are living in civilized western style countries, when human right are equally balanced among men and women, monogamy is the most appropriate for most couples. If you can not control your desires to have sex with other men or women, then you better stay single to avoid broken marriage, broken family and hurting your children.

(5) A man or a woman will get all the blames if he or she has an affair. If I tell the man with affair, "You are wrong, you make all the mistakes, your wife is 100% right, you should stop doing this and always be nice to your wife." Will he apologize, admit all the mistakes, and be a good husband again? Of course not, I will only drives him more mad, make him deny all the blames, give me dozen of reasons to defend his affair, and turn down all of my suggestions. Blames like these will only add fuel to the flame, push him further and further away, and make it harder and harder to repair the broken marriage.
Sometimes giving no suggestion is better than to give bias suggestions. If you really want to help someone's marriage, tell them to read through this site, they will automatically find ways to fix their problems in here.

(6) We are always told to cherish someone, because they have done or sacrificed so much for us. Our feeling and attitude towards cherishing each other will be judged between the degree of our happiness, sacrifice, affection, and give, as well as argument, fighting, conflicts, and affairs. For most couples, the degree of cherish will drop from the top during early dating, to the bottom after a few years of marriage. In which they will find more and more conflicts and argument, and less and less sacrifice and give. Most people will show their dislike when someone mentions about cherishing the other half, and appreciating their sacrifice. Any one-sided blame will only trigger our rebellious nature, to fight for the injustice and deny all the bias blame. The correct and unbiased method should be cherishing both sides, emphasizing both sides have sacrificed for the other half, and both sides should keep on doing it to improve their relationship. Only moderation can avoid triggering our rebellious nature, keeping both sides calm and satisfied.

(7) I have money; I can do whatever I want. How come the rich and the famous with all the charms, glamour, honors, wealth and intelligence will still have divorce or separation? Because they are using their wealth, power, beauty or intelligence to depress others, giving them a lot of unreasonable demand or torture, and letting the hate and anger build up. We are all living in civilized countries advocating human right and equality of the sexes, any of those out-dated, excessive, unreasonable and disrespectful demands are no longer welcome in the new age. We need to move with the wheel of time; demand of subservience and enslavement is no longer appropriate. Forces, bully and humiliating will only bring hate, revenge and disasters.

(8) If he loves and cares about me, he should spend more time with me. If you are a mature person and really love and care about your lover, you should instead tell him to put his work in first place. You prefer to win his love by true caring, unselfishness, understanding and giving him time to do his work, or you prefer to scare him away for showing your selfishness, taking all his time, messing up his life or provoking his friends, colleagues or boss. Do you know how much a man will appreciate and touch for this kind of unselfish caring? Do you know how much more he will love you for doing this? If you can do something like this, who else can steal his heart from you? Compare with other demanding women you are simply invincible.

(9) Put me in first place, then someone else has to settle down for second, third, fourth, etc. Then, put me in last place, put your parents, the children, in first place, I will love them as much as you love them. How many guys will not appreciate this and be touched by your sincerity, true love and care? This is another example for unselfish caring. Try to remove or hide your jealousy; don't let any unpleasant show on your face. You are doing this to make the other half love you more and more, to think you are the best in the world, and truly put you in first place.

(10) To be loved is better than to love, which means receive is better than give. How will you feel if your lover says: "You have to love me more than I love you." Suddenly the cold water is poured right on you, and you are down in the dumps. You are so disappointed and your heart is hurting so badly, your enthusiasm and love will cool down right away. You want to say something to touch and impress someone to strengthen your love and relationship, but not the other way around. Therefore, you should say: "I will love you more than you love me." If your lover says something similar in return, this will certainly be one of the sweetest and most romantic moments you won't forget for life. Remember that if one wrong thought can lead you to hell, one correct thought can bring you back to heaven, heaven and hell are both controlled in our hands.

(11) Active and passive. There shouldn't be one fix role about who is playing active and who is playing passive; we should be flexible about role playing for male and female in different circumstances and times. Our knowledge and abilities in different fields should also be considered in roles choosing. If you are good in cooking, you should play the leading and active role to prepare for a good meal, and you can ask the other one to assist. If you are good in analysis, then you should be the one to analysis, and the other one should just be a good listener. But sometimes be supportive and give them a chance to express their opinion. If you are being pursuit and bothering about that hard passive feeling waiting for phone calls, then put down your dignity and be active to call.

(12) Men like to show off about the number of their sex partners and their ability in sex. If you ask a thousand middle age men about their sexual ability and endurance, I guess 99% will tell you they are still in good shape, no one will tell you the truth about their declining in sexual ability or impotence. Because men are seeing sexual ability is their dignity of masculinity, especially when they are comparing with other men or in front of women. This is one of the main cause for psychological impotence, when you are trying so hard to impress a lady on bed, but she is still unsatisfied, and always have you compared with other young men, the psychological and mantel pressure will further affect your ability and future performance. We should say something encouraging and supportable to help him regain the confidence and momentum, instead of saying something discouraging and humiliating to worsen the illness.

(13) Women always complaining about men don't know what they want. Only Lord knows what a woman wants, even the same sexes sometimes fail the guess. I admit men are less prudent, less aware, and a bit clumsy and rash sometimes, but we are also braver, more active, and less fussy. Men and women both have different merits and demerits, we should be patiently and friendly helping and reminding each others, instead of blaming or picking on each others. In one example, the wife makes a dish of junk food to test his degree of love, from the reflection of her husband tasting the food; but without any hint; the husband will fail for sure. If you get mad with reasons like, not saying Hello or thank you, accidentally bang the door, didn't answer the phone, please tell the poor guys what they have done wrong. Please take the initiative to clearly tell the men what you want them to do or correct, rather than just giving obscure advice or getting mad without explaining, and avoid giving an elusive and unintelligible feeling to men.

(14) Men dating women just want to have sex. In the western society, most relationships start with sex. Having multiple sex partners seem to be the western life style, and the satisfaction of their first sex will also determine the future of their relationship. Most people will keep searching until they find someone who can fulfil their needs in every field. If there is any unsatisfactory within their relationship, either side with less self-control and patience will start dating other people again. If you want to blame someone for his or her misconduct, you should instead blame the openness of the society, leading to the demoralization and the corrupt of the humanity. When everyone is enjoying the freedom to do whatever they like in the western society, they will also have to suffer and withstand the pain from its side effect of affairs, multiple sex-partners and loyalty fading. Most fatally, you will have a chance to catch sexual disease like aids or herpes through multiple sex-partners. If you don't want to take the bitter with the sweet, then you should try to swim against the tide, go through this homepage again and again, take my advise step by step, and practice monogamy with elevated self-control and humanity.

(15) Will a woman pursuing a man lose face and respect in the future? If he is thinking being pursuit by a woman is his great honor, and using this as an excuse to control and oppress you, then he is acting immature and ungenerous. To maintain a good relationship, mutual respect is necessary no matter which side is pursuing. This type of behavior will increase pressure, conflict, and hate between you two. You want your wife to be proud of her initiative pursuit, rather than repenting for her stupid move.

(16) We have different standard of tolerance between friends and mate; we will not take words from our friends seriously but seriously on our mate. If you can forgive your friends for their rudeness and criticism, but blaming your mate, yelling and hurting each other for the same reason, you are just as crazy as a loon and not holding water. Then, you should start considering your mate as a friend to reduce conflict, resentment and dislike. Switching a favorable angle and point of view to deal with problems and disputes, then you two will be as thick as thieves.

(17) Our marriage is too boring; I rather have a marriage full of excitement and splendor. You should be rejoicing for your boring marriage. Just look at all those celebrities, they are living in excitement, splendor, applause and adoration, how many of them have stabled and long lasting marriages? Haven't we always heard them complaining their other half hasn't done their job? How many of them can resist all the temptation to stay loyal to their marriages? If you have stable life style, keep it that way, try to enjoy the beauty of boring, excitement sometimes could be harmful.